"... Some of them would stop what they were doing" ... was the show ..... a part or a break away in time? I break the will be deleted. "The section of the tree in front of the box" I assume you mean the tree trunk. The display is generally good, fairly easy to follow.
I think it's very good - I like your choice of words, but I want to emphasize that the forest was usually very busy for everyone. Take the difference between normal and now more and unknown. It is not written that "the process was repeated again," only to repeat. Maybe get some of the animals directly, anxiety or a feeling that to be included wherever you go. Good luck.
I think it's very good - I like your choice of words, but I want to emphasize that the forest was usually very busy for everyone. Take the difference between normal and now more and unknown. It is not written that "the process was repeated again," only to repeat. Maybe get some of the animals directly, anxiety or a feeling that to be included wherever you go. Good luck.
Hmmm - this is the last sentence of the first paragraph is a mite confusing. It has been suggested that perhaps "they" instead of "in". A vocabulary is good enough, but I have some problems with the placement of a comma. In addition, there are some sentences to be too wordy, he was placed under the clothing. I suggest to change, "she puts under her dress."
However, I want to read the rest of the story if you do nothing, and I think most everything you have good work done and the related measures, and the tone of the passage.
4 comments:
"... Some of them would stop what they were doing" ... was the show ..... a part or a break away in time? I break the will be deleted. "The section of the tree in front of the box" I assume you mean the tree trunk.
The display is generally good, fairly easy to follow.
I think it's very good - I like your choice of words, but I want to emphasize that the forest was usually very busy for everyone. Take the difference between normal and now more and unknown. It is not written that "the process was repeated again," only to repeat.
Maybe get some of the animals directly, anxiety or a feeling that to be included wherever you go.
Good luck.
I think it's very good - I like your choice of words, but I want to emphasize that the forest was usually very busy for everyone. Take the difference between normal and now more and unknown. It is not written that "the process was repeated again," only to repeat.
Maybe get some of the animals directly, anxiety or a feeling that to be included wherever you go.
Good luck.
Hmmm - this is the last sentence of the first paragraph is a mite confusing. It has been suggested that perhaps "they" instead of "in". A vocabulary is good enough, but I have some problems with the placement of a comma. In addition, there are some sentences to be too wordy, he was placed under the clothing. I suggest to change, "she puts under her dress."
However, I want to read the rest of the story if you do nothing, and I think most everything you have good work done and the related measures, and the tone of the passage.
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